Do you remember the movie: "The King’s Speech”?
It is about Prince Albert who reluctantly became the King of Great Britain. His brother Prince Edward, who was first in line, abdicated. Prince Edward wanted to marry the twice divorced American Wallis Simpson. This disqualified him from remaining the King. King George the sixth had one major problem. He stammered badly. He found it difficult to speak a sentence without stammering. For a King that is not good! Fortunately he met a frog.
After I saw the movie, I got to thinking about my life and the "stammers" I had developed.Do you remember the movie: "The King’s Speech”?
It is about Prince Albert who reluctantly became the King of Great Britain. His brother Prince Edward, who was first in line, abdicated. Prince Edward wanted to marry the twice divorced American Wallis Simpson. This disqualified him from remaining the King. King George the sixth had one major problem. He stammered badly. He found it difficult to speak a sentence without stammering. For a King that is not good! Fortunately he met a frog.
What is your “stammer”? When we were born we had no “stammers”. In the first seven years, particularly after birth, we were influenced by a number of people and institutions and experiences. The “stammer” may not be in your speech. Your “stammer” could be in some other area of your life. Through a painful experience you developed a “stammer”.
Maybe the cause of your "stammer" is that you were molested sexually or beaten or not loved or in some way treated harshly by your parents, siblings, your broader family or someone else.
Maybe the cause of your "stammer" is that you were molested sexually or beaten or not loved or in some way treated harshly by your parents, siblings, your broader family or someone else.
Education plays a big part in our lives. Teachers can often make or break us.
The environment or political situation into which we are born affects us. If you
were born and raised in a "squatter camp" (These are the poverty stricken areas in South Africa), or a “trailer park” (In the USA), it will influence the way you see yourself. As a result, it will influence the way you see the world. This will then be your "stammer"
The environment or political situation into which we are born affects us. If you
were born and raised in a "squatter camp" (These are the poverty stricken areas in South Africa), or a “trailer park” (In the USA), it will influence the way you see yourself. As a result, it will influence the way you see the world. This will then be your "stammer"
In South Africa, the land of my birth, black people were treated as inferior to white people under apartheid. Many grew up thinking they were inferior to whites. Of course this is patent nonsense. Blacks are not inferior to anyone. In fact no one is inferior to another. We are just different from each other. All people have different intellects, different gifts,different abilities, different cultures. However no one is inferior to another. We are all created equal. Different gifts, different intelligences and different emotional intelligences.
This within the white population or the black population or any other population.
Most South Africans have developed a "stammer” as a result of apartheid.
This has affected both the 'oppressed' and the 'oppressor' from the apartheid era.
In 1992 Nelson Mandela was released from prison. This was a major turning point for South Africa. Nelson Mandela spent 26 years in prison. Then in 1995 elections were held and South Africa became a democratic country. Immediately black people became legally equal to white people. Unfortunately the psychological effects take a long time to heal. As Martin Luther King said: "We may have the legal right to sit on the same bench as white people but you cant make either of us love each other"
Still today psychological and spiritual healing is taking place.
South Africans feel the effects of what the apartheid system had on the country. Many black people still have a feeling of being inferior to white people.
This has given them a psychological "stammer". Many White people have also been psychological affected. They too have a "stammer". Some still feel blacks are inferior to whites. All South Africans are struggling to come to terms with the past. The heart of racism is seeing people as less than "us"
"The fairest Cape of all" Sir Francis Drake
Cape Town,South Africa.
The media influences us and can give us a "stammer". Even religion can affect us negatively and give us a "stammer"
The belief systems of our parents can give us a "stammer".My father used to say to me when I wanted money: “Do you think I am Rockefeller my boy"? My mother said: “Do you think money grows on trees”? As a result I developed a “stammer” about money. For a long time I thought that money was scarce. I developed a “money scarcity" belief. Money is not scarce. Money is always flowing, even in a recession. It is just that a minority of people have it. The people with an abundance mentality have it. How do you view money? Whatever way you do, the chances are that it has become your reality.
This within the white population or the black population or any other population.
Most South Africans have developed a "stammer” as a result of apartheid.
This has affected both the 'oppressed' and the 'oppressor' from the apartheid era.
In 1992 Nelson Mandela was released from prison. This was a major turning point for South Africa. Nelson Mandela spent 26 years in prison. Then in 1995 elections were held and South Africa became a democratic country. Immediately black people became legally equal to white people. Unfortunately the psychological effects take a long time to heal. As Martin Luther King said: "We may have the legal right to sit on the same bench as white people but you cant make either of us love each other"
Still today psychological and spiritual healing is taking place.
South Africans feel the effects of what the apartheid system had on the country. Many black people still have a feeling of being inferior to white people.
This has given them a psychological "stammer". Many White people have also been psychological affected. They too have a "stammer". Some still feel blacks are inferior to whites. All South Africans are struggling to come to terms with the past. The heart of racism is seeing people as less than "us"
"The fairest Cape of all" Sir Francis Drake
Cape Town,South Africa.
The media influences us and can give us a "stammer". Even religion can affect us negatively and give us a "stammer"
The belief systems of our parents can give us a "stammer".My father used to say to me when I wanted money: “Do you think I am Rockefeller my boy"? My mother said: “Do you think money grows on trees”? As a result I developed a “stammer” about money. For a long time I thought that money was scarce. I developed a “money scarcity" belief. Money is not scarce. Money is always flowing, even in a recession. It is just that a minority of people have it. The people with an abundance mentality have it. How do you view money? Whatever way you do, the chances are that it has become your reality.
Prince Albert who became King George the sixth was fortunate to find someone who helped him to speak reasonable fluently. He was also the King’s one real male friend. He helped the King to overcome his lack of confidence. The man who helped him was an average man with no qualifications, position or money. He was a bit of a frog. Remember the fairy tale where the Princess kisses the frog and he turns into a Prince? Well this was the opposite way around. A frog “kissed” a Prince and he became King! The Prince, when he was 5 years old developed his stammer. His father was very critical of Albert. One of his nanny's
was extremely harsh on him. That broke down his confidence in himself. Stammering is usually connected to a lack self-belief resulting in a lack of self-confidence.
When I was in Grade 8 at school , I developed a “stammer”. Mrs. Stonier was my Mathematics teacher. From the moment she set eyes on me she didn’t like me. She asked me what my name was. I told her: “John Thomas Miss”. She laughed and said it was a really stupid name. In the English tradition “John Thomas” is another name for a penis! My Father gave me the name for five reasons. 1. He was stupid. 2. He had not read “Sons and Lovers” by T.S. Elliot (This book used the name to refer to that part of the anatomy) 3. My uncle Johnny was killed in the Second World War and my father wanted me to have his name. 4. He had a sense of humor. 5. He wanted me to grow up with character. So you will understand why I changed to my second name to
Harry, when I was drafted into the South African Defence Force.
Have you ever listened to the song by Johnny Cash,
entitled: “A boy named Sue”? That will give you insight into the “stammer” I held onto for many years.
was extremely harsh on him. That broke down his confidence in himself. Stammering is usually connected to a lack self-belief resulting in a lack of self-confidence.
When I was in Grade 8 at school , I developed a “stammer”. Mrs. Stonier was my Mathematics teacher. From the moment she set eyes on me she didn’t like me. She asked me what my name was. I told her: “John Thomas Miss”. She laughed and said it was a really stupid name. In the English tradition “John Thomas” is another name for a penis! My Father gave me the name for five reasons. 1. He was stupid. 2. He had not read “Sons and Lovers” by T.S. Elliot (This book used the name to refer to that part of the anatomy) 3. My uncle Johnny was killed in the Second World War and my father wanted me to have his name. 4. He had a sense of humor. 5. He wanted me to grow up with character. So you will understand why I changed to my second name to
Harry, when I was drafted into the South African Defence Force.
Have you ever listened to the song by Johnny Cash,
entitled: “A boy named Sue”? That will give you insight into the “stammer” I held onto for many years.
Mrs Stonier continually called me stupid. Guess what I became ... stupid in mathematics. At the end of the first term, (January – March), I got the lowest mark ever for mathematics at that school. I got five percent. I attended a prestigious boys only school, which made it more difficult. Do you know how little mathematics I knew
to get that percentage? If you just write your name on the examination paper, they give you five percent! I think I still hold the record for the lowest mark in mathematics. Mrs Stonier didn’t come back after the first term. I was relieved and extremely happy.
The first day of the second term we saw a "pruned" faced man through the glass panes of the door of the mathematics class. It was Mr Coventry. He was in his late seventies. It was difficult to find young mathematics teachers in those days. The class of boys thought that we were going to have real fun with him! He surprised us all. He was a kind and caring teacher. He asked my name. “John Thomas” I replied. The whole class laughed. When he heard it,he said: “That is a nice name” From today your name will be “Tommy”. He knew that my name was embarrassing. He said that I looked liked a mathematician. The classed roared with laughter. He obviously hadn’t seen the marks! My “stammer” was a lack of self-belief. Mr Coventry helped me to find that belief in myself again. He affirmed me and helped me with mathematics. At the end of the year my marks improved to such an extent that I came second in a class of twenty five. Mr Coventry was my "princess" and he “kissed” me with kindness, care and his belief in me. I lost my “frogginess” and emerged from my murky pool of low grades in mathematics to become a mathematician.
The same year I was forced to stay with my brother. He was thirteen years older than me. A lot happened that year! He was a mathematical wizard. He attended Syracuse University, New York. He came top of his class. So to him I was stupid. He physically beat me up for about six months whenever I didn’t do well at school. If I didn’t get up early enough he threw a bucket of water over my head in bed. My self-esteem became another “stammer”.
The question is what is your “stammer”? It’s never too late to change from being a frog living in a murky pool to being a King living in a castle. History is
littered with examples.
The question is what is your “stammer”? It’s never too late to change from being a frog living in a murky pool to being a King living in a castle. History is
littered with examples.
How do you do it? How do you move from being a frog to being a King?
How do you shed your "stammer"?
How do you shed your "stammer"?
Here are a few useful ideas:
1. Maybe look at the new school of psychology for some help.
Neuro Linguistic Programing says that you can change and you can change fast. It says that it isn’t about your past but about the now and the future. NLP says that you need to insert new software into your brain. Google Paul McKenna and watch this technique at work in bringing about change.
Neuro Linguistic Programing says that you can change and you can change fast. It says that it isn’t about your past but about the now and the future. NLP says that you need to insert new software into your brain. Google Paul McKenna and watch this technique at work in bringing about change.
2. Read books. Below are some examples.
“Awaken the Giant within” by Anthony Robins, “The NLP Coach” by Ian McDermott & Wendy Jago,”The Breakthrough Experience” by Dr. John F. Demartini, “Frogs into Princes” by Richard Bandler & John Grinder, “Feel the Fear & do it anyway” by Susan Jeffers,to mention a few.
“Awaken the Giant within” by Anthony Robins, “The NLP Coach” by Ian McDermott & Wendy Jago,”The Breakthrough Experience” by Dr. John F. Demartini, “Frogs into Princes” by Richard Bandler & John Grinder, “Feel the Fear & do it anyway” by Susan Jeffers,to mention a few.
3. Challenge the inner critic all the time:
The voice of a teacher, a parent or a sibling or whoever in your head.
Most of it is rubbish. Don’t allow these people to live rent free in your head! Evict them!
Observe you’re self-talk. Are you continually negative about yourself? Put an end to this kind of self-talk. Be kind to yourself.
The voice of a teacher, a parent or a sibling or whoever in your head.
Most of it is rubbish. Don’t allow these people to live rent free in your head! Evict them!
Observe you’re self-talk. Are you continually negative about yourself? Put an end to this kind of self-talk. Be kind to yourself.
4. Forgive yourself and others.
More about this in the next blog.
More about this in the next blog.
5. Find a mentor or coach
Someone you can trust to help you find your path in life. Someone to give you honest feedback about yourself.
Someone you can trust to help you find your path in life. Someone to give you honest feedback about yourself.
6. Get counselling.
Find a professional counsellor.(British spelling)
Someone who you can relate to.
7. Live in the present.
Let go of the past. It is history and you can’t change it. However you can affect the future by what you do today.
Do not go through your life living with your “stammer”. Do something about it. Feel the fear and do it anyway!
Find a professional counsellor.(British spelling)
Someone who you can relate to.
7. Live in the present.
Let go of the past. It is history and you can’t change it. However you can affect the future by what you do today.
Do not go through your life living with your “stammer”. Do something about it. Feel the fear and do it anyway!
Stay tuned for – “How to forgive”
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